Here’s another blog post with pictures that have nothing to do with the subject at hand but at least they’re cute. 😉
Guess what guys?! Still single! I’m going to say this loud for the people in the back- please desist from showing me sympathy when I say I’m single. I am TIRED of hearing “Don’t worry, you’ll find someone soon.” First off, I’m not looking and secondly, my relationship- or lack thereof- does not define me. I am still me with or without a partner.
But, while I’m here, saw that word I used? Partner. I’m a mother first and foremost. Over the years, my experiences have brought me to the place that I am at today. At 27 I have a standard and I won’t apologise for it. I won’t let anyone guilt me into thinking my expectations are unrealistic. When I was younger I might have dated people without fully understanding what I needed to consider. As my daughter has gotten older I’ve realised she will build her own relationships with my partner. Knowing this, off the top of my head I can say I’m looking for an educator, protector, carer, someone who’s not afraid to be a disciplinarian, dependable, makes time for her and makes her feel included. Mini KP has a heart as big as mine and when something hurts me, I know it hurts her too and I refuse to be voluntarily responsible for any hurt she feels. When I don’t consider the person I’m introducing her to thoroughly that’s potentially what I’m doing- setting her up for hurt. So, we will no longer be short-changed. Sounds like too much? What I suggest you do is stand to the side and let somebody else through because I will be unapologetically walking in my worth. Thanks.
With all of that being said though, I have not put myself back on the market just yet (am I a car? lol). If I were looking for a fling and just someone to knock boots with; I’ve got options- but that’s not what I’m about. [Ladies] don’t take that to mean that I am knocking you if that’s where you’re at either- your life, your rules. I’ve just come from a relationship where I felt like I was giving 250% and receiving 10%- not really keen on finding out if another person wanna take me fi idiot. I will no longer be showing loyalty if it leads to me betraying myself. If I’m being honest (which I usually am) I’d also have to say I’m still at Stage 5 of my grieving- Anger. Most days it’s directed at myself (for so many reasons) and some days it’s directed at my ex. Of course I know continuing in this head space will prove unhealthy so I’m working on getting myself onto the next stage!
*DISCLAIMER* My ex is not a bad guy but he was a bad choice for me. Have you ever experienced that? A guy who potentially looks great on paper but if those core values don’t align it makes for a volatile relationship. (Trust me, I know)
I made sacrifices for my relationship and ignored the detrimental effect that it had on my life- the biggest one being spending time with my daughter. At the time, I thought it was necessary to build the foundation for where I saw my relationship going but now I regret it. Which is why I’ve decided I’m not dating currently because I need the next person to be worth me sacrificing any time I could be spending with her.
The only person worth sacrificing that time and paying a babysitter for is ME.
I’ve said it before but I’ll say it again. Personal mantra: First Love Yourself.
All of that time, money and energy I give in my relationships is going to be geared towards me. I recently read “The 5 love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts” by Gary Chapman and that gave me a better insight into the way I give and hope to receive love and that’s exactly how I plan to love myself. So if I think I’m doing a bomb ass job solo parenting; I am going to buy myself some flowers (sunflowers probably). If I need to book that babysitter so I can take a little time pampering myself; 10 white toes here I come. If I want to spend the day shopping and catching a movie with Kiara; consider it done. I already know I can give myself everything I need anyway so why would I even get caught with a man making empty promises? I’ll make sure my actions match my words.
Co-ord Set: Primark
Sunglasses: Boohoo (Sold Out)
Kiara’s dress and shoes are from Primark and her hair was done by me. 🙂