Would you stay in a relationship with an obsessed partner?
A partner who:
-didn’t let you go out with your girls on Friday night for drinks
-wouldn’t let you leave the house for a simple walk in the park
-stopped you from doing all your favourite hobbies
-wouldn’t let you go to the gym to get your summer body right.
Imagine not being able to talk to your best friend any more…
That is my depression; my obsessed lover. She’s selfish.
All the things I love and don’t love to do (like cleaning my house) are occasionally taken from me because she’d rather have me all to herself.
It’s so unfair.
I made the plans for last night’s outing. I found the spot. I booked the reservation. I invited everyone. That means I’d be excited about it, right? No. Wednesday evening I contemplated messaging everyone and telling them “something came up”. I didn’t quite think of what could possibly come up to stop us from hanging out but I knew I could think of something.
That has become my reality- my depression has made me a liar.
I lie about the smallest things. And I do this because I don’t know if “I just can’t” is a good enough excuse for them to hear. So I always think of something elaborate. That’s probably why people don’t know just how much I struggle to be “normal” because I don’t say when I’m finding it hard. My father has now told me to stop wasting my lies :’). Am I doomed to run out of them? Yikes!
I pushed through that feeling of wanting to be home in my bed. I probably would’ve spent all night watching Big Bang Theory or Seinfeld. So instead, I got dressed and I went out.
In case you did not know, Kira is a talkie! I talked until I couldn’t talk any more but more importantly, I laughed so much it hit me- you’re happy Shakira. I felt so good!
We went to Burger & Lobster in Soho; I had never been to this one before. I usually go to the one just off of Oxford Street so what surprised me the most was the menu. It wasn’t the same! Now there was an option for Chili Lobster?! Yes, please!
I actually couldn’t even finish it all because I decided to have a starter even though I knew good and well that it would mean I couldn’t finish my main. But what I did eat, I enjoyed. And of course drinks were involved too but we did not overdo as, guess who had to get up at the crack of dawn for work? Yes. Me.
Last night was so much warmer than I had anticipated. And wet. Why is the weather such sh*t in England eh? I did know this well enough in advance to change my intended outfit but I wore it anyway and complained about how hot I was all night. 🙂